Pretty Cows in the Lake District

Beware a week-end away with middle-aged (give or take a year or ten) women who have responsible jobs in local government. The aim of the trip? To win as many games of cribbage as possible whilst imbibing copious amounts of cava and champagne. Then, during daylight hours, to stomp across the hills (refreshment breaks for namby-pambies only), equipped with as many outdoor accoutrements as it is possible to carry in one state-of-the-art rucksack. Personally, I prefer more-sex to gore-tex.

By the way, dearest friends, I can now officially confirm that I was unable to join the hill trek due to a condition in my feet called plantar fasciitis (oh thank-u god….). This is also known as “Policemans Heel”. Any suggestion of a relation to Achilles will be vigourously denied.

Did this stop me from joining in and having a good time? Lets look at the pictoral evidence…..

Taking the waters. The girlies make use of their sucky things. Look, they can drink water without using their hands – and in Unison too!! But later, explaining the dribble marks over one breast does, however, become a little exasperating.








Pretty cows – a photograph of cows asked for by my friends, who then disappeared into the distance. And they say I can’t take a hint……









Ooh look. There's more pretty cows!

Then, later that evening, things took a turn for the,well - dramatic I suppose. We became delusional on 2 counts. (1) That there had been four Charlies Angels instead of three and (2) That we were those Charlies Angels.

Of course, this had nothing to do with three bottles of cava and one of champagne and absolutely everything to do with a remarkable shared psychosis.

It was when we became so serious about getting the perfect media shot of Charlies Angels, moving furniture and taking pictures off the wall, that I started to become concerned. Should I have stayed in role as Bigsley after all? And if we were Charlies Angels, where was Charlie?


Sunday morning arrived. Were we affected by our weekend revelations? Yes indeed, note the overnight metamorphosis and behold –
The Sucking Angels…..














Thanks guys. It was much-needed lots of fun and I look forward to a repeat performance - where I may even be able to join you on the hills (if only because I want a sucky thing too).

We are indeed pretty cows!