Thursday, September 06, 2007

Skye, Alston, Staithes, Saltburn, Viana Do Castelo, Porto and Uncle Tom Cobley and all....

A recent request for written material made me realise that my blog had not been updated for about 6 months! No great loss to the general public, I hasten to add, but in the effort of keeping a sort of vague record of my life, it's pretty damn remiss of me, Jeeves.

So, a brief resume of previous months:

February: A great and final gig for No Sleep 'til Bedtime in the Village Hall. Probably our finest hour and yet no recording or pictures to be had, which makes it even more special somehow. You just had to be there...and most of the village were!!

April: A fabulous trip to the Isle of Skye, discovering dramatic scenery and fine local beers.


May: A friends Civil Ceremony in Harrogate - where I wish my father could have been there to shout in his usual fashion "all them as can't dance is puffs!". He'd have never made it out alive.....


The D.J's were funky too.....


Also in May, Matt became a TEENAGER!! Yeah!









We then had a weekend away in Alston. This is just in Cumbria but placed seemingly in no-mans land. You drive forever across high granite hills, the occasional lonely stone shed and samaritan-phoning sheep in sight. Richard had also been warned that this town had the highest ratio of men to women (4 to 1). By the time we got there a slight paranoia had set in about sexually deranged menfolk rampaging through village streets searching out unsuspecting female tourists. OK, so I was paranoid - but intrigued all the same....
Oh yes - we also road-tested a rather fine and sporty volvo, which was a bit of a bonus on the trip .














Alston - the town of high testosterone, and the car - thank you Volvo!

June : A lovely day out, en famille, to Saltburn and Staithes where the sun shone so much and the sky was so blue that you can hardly believe we had the most wet and miserable summer ever.

















Saltburn and Staithes

July & August: Two whole, knackering, glorious weeks with just my beloved on a trip to Northern Portugal, exploring the Duoro and Minho valley from small villages to a major historic city i.e. Porto















Statue of Viana Do Castelo (in the town of the same name) and The Ribiera, Porto
Workwise (what that?), I've been concentrating on putting on an event in Malton on 31st August for young people. One of those pieces of work that takes forever, you think you'll never finish, there's loads to remember and organise, you get totally wound up and stressed about it and then... it's over. What now?
Well, in order to recover from said event, we have booked a weekend in the village of Marloes on the south Pembrokeshire coast.

View next blog to find out more - (probably at Christmas!!!).

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Saturday, January 06, 2007

Borbles, birthdays, blogging and other b****cks!!

No, that last word is not buttocks. It’s near them though.

OK, so I haven’t blogged since November . (My doctor says there are pessaries available). However, when contemplating the reasons for this, it’s pretty simple
a) Nothing much has happened
b) I couldn’t be bothered
c) I can’t think of a c. Oh yes, Christmas.

Christmas does tend to overtake things, presumably (in my case anyway), from mid-November onwards. What exactly have I done? Well, I tried to make inroads into my unfitness by joining the gym - and when you’ve recovered from the shock, hubby says that I’m allowed to say I’m actually doing quite well. Those Levis I bought in New York are actually falling down over the old b****cks. (Now that WAS buttocks.)

We’ve been pretty doggy obsessed too, as those who received our Christmas card with Gus in a Santa hat will know. Mum was a bit poorly but has recovered marvellously (she’s now telling jokes about “and at the third stroke…..”).
No Sleep were almost beaten up at the local folk club in York when, just before Christmas, we had the temerity to turn up and SIT IN THE PERFORMERS SEATS. I’m sorry, I don’t carry my voice in a fiddle case. We were glowered at until we opened our mouths. (Actually, I’m not sure the glowering stopped, but there are six of us….).
Xmas = Feeding the in-laws slightly overdone chicken, roast potatoes like bullets and a Christmas pudding that collapsed, but everyone was very polite. I got a new camera – so am hoping to put some better piccies on this blog eventually. It has more pixels than fairyland.

New Years day – my birthday (and mums too), friends, hubby and I went for a walk by St. Gregory’s Minster near Kirkbymoorside. Originally we meant to go on a walk up near Blakey Ridge but, not being the best equipped innuits in North Yorkshire, we decided we couldn’t do the biting arctic gales and returned to find more accommodating temperatures in the lowlands….

And finally, I have been a busy little gig-organising bee...
No Sleep and Rory Motion – the gig is well and truly on its way!
Saturday February 3rd, Oswaldkirk Village Hall, 7.30pm.
Be there or be square, come along or be oblong etc. etc.
Only a fiver (six quid on the door)
AND there’s booze too!

That’s the end of the commercial break, but if you would like to hear us sing (and I wouldn’t tell just anybody this), tune in to http://www.radioryedale.co.uk/. It’s a very embarrassing interview with me. Well, I’m embarrassed anyway. And if I offended ANYONE in it, all I can say is I’m very, very, very, very sorry - but being interviewed evidently turns my brain to jelly and my mouth into Pam Ayres.

And on that note, goodbye and see you soon. Hopefully at the gig-
Mucho deniro & big hugs
Oh – and
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
xxxx
CAPTION COMPETION!

Spotted over Christmas, a pick up truck full of the huntin', shootin' and fishin' brigade, off to partake in the difficult sport of shooting really fat birds that can't fly. Please send me your best captions, to be published in the next blog...









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Sunday, November 19, 2006

No Sleep and Rory Motion in one weekend?

Wot a weekend, I am utterly pooped. A roller coaster ride of pop-stardom followed by major wining and dining in top-notch style.

O.k, so (1), we had a gig near Sheffield and (2), it was my brothers 50th birthday meal. I still felt like my cup runneth over. (We once had a dog that got runneth over).

Recipe for No Sleep 'til Bedtime:
Take 6 girlies (I know some who would in an instant…), a whole dollop of voice flavourings including angelica, chocolate, honey and treacle, stir in a bucketful of harmonies, put up with a smattering of backchat, line carefully with varied experiences of love gone right (and love gone wrong), give it fifteen years to mature and top off with common sense, wise words, hugs and the odd splooter, and there you have it - the perfect acappella band. (That’s us, by the way - I might be a touch biased, but then, this is my blog).


This recipe went down very well at the Rockingham Arms in Wentworth. A fine folk venue, and I like to think we knocked their little socks off, although we nearly knocked our own off by being somewhat shouty at times. I’m afraid there was only one obvious answer to the song “Can you hear me?”.

However, shouting aside, we rose to the occasion and although we’re not traditionally folky (or even traditional folk) in any sense, they were very kind and appreciative of us. I hope the childrens' charity got some well-deserved spondoolies out of it. Watch this space for future events (I will put the band website address on here – when I remember what it is!!!).


Moving swiftly on, without a segue to be found, the next evening we girded loins once more to help my brother Andy to celebrate his 50th birthday. I’d like to point something out at this juncture – that you may know him by his alternative persona Rory Motion, poet, comedian, artist and tree impersonator (it’s a long story….).

In fact, Andy has been Rory for so long now I occasionally find myself calling him Rory instead. God only knows the effect that this split personality has had on him. Therapy has only been narrowly missed due to the fact that both personalities are very similar and fortunately he’s never really gone in for comedy involving cross-dressing or shaking wads of money. Actually, he’s never really had a wad of money to shake anyway, but I digress…. where was I?

Oh yes, Andy, 50. Well done mate. It was a grand evening and the family chefs did you (and us) proud. I particularly enjoyed yours and Matthews re-take of the photo from when you were about 4 and 6 years old. (Those of you with a weak constitution, look away now….).
I also favour the story of dressing up a dummy in your school uniform and throwing it out of the upstairs window, to plummet past the window underneath where mum sat watching telly. Quite a novel way to test the strength of your mothers' heartstrings.


However, the matriarch must have forgiven you because she was there too, to add her own side to the stories. Mum, how DID you do it? Five, not particularly withdrawn, kids, several dogs, cats, strange parents/in-laws, at one stage a housekeeper who’s husband was a budgie judger and at another even briefer stage, a pregnant au pair (don’t even ask….).
Oh shit, I’ve digressed again…where was I?

It was the best vegetarian meal I’ve ever scoffed. Matthew and Ann are heading for restaurant ownership (if we can push them hard enough…). The starter was enough in itself - and as pretty as an attached picture too. The wine was also magnificent, smooth, rich and highly quaffable. I think it was called McManus and the only reason I can remember it is because of the old 1960's wrestler, Mick McManus. Two submissions and a knockout, after only one bottle, not bad eh? I apologise here and now if my headlock and shoulder charge were a little OTT.

Thank you all for a fine November 17th & 18th, 2006. If anyone has an interest in hearing No Sleep and Rory Motion in action, look out for a joint gig in Oswaldkirk (bright lights, big city), sometime next January. You heard it here first…

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Portmeirion and Gus

I've decided that I'm glad people moan about holidays in Wales. Go on! Go for it - wet, rainy, unfriendly, yada yada yada.....

You see, personally I adore the place, so if a good moan means that people stay away (especially from my favourite corners), then I'm a happy bunny, bouncing around the hills of Snowdonia and getting funny looks in Portmeirion.

Those of you who know me will remember that I spent my 40th birthday in Portmeirion, with reprobate friends and family taking over village houses and helping out in the process of getting blind drunk, with singing, dancing and all that party stuff.....

For those of you who don't know, Portemeirion is a beautiful Italianate-style village, built on the estuary just outside Porthmadog. Remember that weird t.v. series, The Prisoner? (Only if you're a sad, out of date hippy, obviously). Well, that was filmed there. You can stay in the village or splash out and stay in the hotel. We semi-splashed and dripped ouselves into a flat above the village shop "Pot Jam".


We made merry with the LandRover and toured all the hills, highways and byways. Plantar Fasciitis notwithstanding (I'm going to have to call it something else), I've learned that I must rest these feet and, currently can only potter or have short walks.

However, we did one fantastic walk behind Harlech which has stunning views over Snowdonia and round to the Lleyn Peninsular, the dunes of Harlech beach and out to sea. My camera isn't all that good, but you can just see the village of Portmeirion in the distance...



And just to please 'im indoors, here's a picture of a train. Snowdon Mountain Railway of course - which we've been to see a couple of times but never gone up because a)the tourists are many and waiting and packed in like sardines and/or b), the building at the top of Snowdon is being demolished to be rebuilt (as a Sainsburies I wonder?).

This weeks competition - what does WYDDFA stand for? My entry once more refers to 'im indoors. Why You Do Do Fart Alltime? (Anyone got a spare bedroom?).

A final bit of news - we were so happy about our little holiday that we realised we wanted to take a doggie walking in these nice places too. The Dogs Trust, just outside Leeds, was on our way home so we paid a visit. ..... Meet Gus, the new family member. We're all v.happy - except Murphy the cat but we hope some persuasion and tuna fish will change all that. So, another boy in the house. O.K. I grew up with four brothers so it's inevitable I suppose... except WYDDFA?







Friday, October 20, 2006

Pretty Cows in the Lake District

Beware a week-end away with middle-aged (give or take a year or ten) women who have responsible jobs in local government. The aim of the trip? To win as many games of cribbage as possible whilst imbibing copious amounts of cava and champagne. Then, during daylight hours, to stomp across the hills (refreshment breaks for namby-pambies only), equipped with as many outdoor accoutrements as it is possible to carry in one state-of-the-art rucksack. Personally, I prefer more-sex to gore-tex.

By the way, dearest friends, I can now officially confirm that I was unable to join the hill trek due to a condition in my feet called plantar fasciitis (oh thank-u god….). This is also known as “Policemans Heel”. Any suggestion of a relation to Achilles will be vigourously denied.

Did this stop me from joining in and having a good time? Lets look at the pictoral evidence…..

Taking the waters. The girlies make use of their sucky things. Look, they can drink water without using their hands – and in Unison too!! But later, explaining the dribble marks over one breast does, however, become a little exasperating.








Pretty cows – a photograph of cows asked for by my friends, who then disappeared into the distance. And they say I can’t take a hint……









Ooh look. There's more pretty cows!

Then, later that evening, things took a turn for the,well - dramatic I suppose. We became delusional on 2 counts. (1) That there had been four Charlies Angels instead of three and (2) That we were those Charlies Angels.

Of course, this had nothing to do with three bottles of cava and one of champagne and absolutely everything to do with a remarkable shared psychosis.

It was when we became so serious about getting the perfect media shot of Charlies Angels, moving furniture and taking pictures off the wall, that I started to become concerned. Should I have stayed in role as Bigsley after all? And if we were Charlies Angels, where was Charlie?


Sunday morning arrived. Were we affected by our weekend revelations? Yes indeed, note the overnight metamorphosis and behold –
The Sucking Angels…..














Thanks guys. It was much-needed lots of fun and I look forward to a repeat performance - where I may even be able to join you on the hills (if only because I want a sucky thing too).

We are indeed pretty cows!

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Angels or Reflections? Its all a bit deep for me...

OK, can someone, somewhere give me an answer to this one? I once knew a woman who was convinced that those strange, spherical objects you sometimes get in your photographs are actually angels (or ghosts or spirits, whatever name you would like to attach to ethereal beings). She was so convinced that she tried to persuade me of the same notion.

I am, I find, a bit of a spiritual waverer. However, in her defence (I feel obliged as she's not actually here), I must say that these spheres or faintly orbs do have a nasty habit of appearing in my photos when I least expect them. I've tried seeing if there's a mirror in the room or a way of the flash being reflected which could explain it. But, I have to say that I am, in a Long-John Silver kind of a way, well and truly stumped.

Last night, the full moon was an absolute stormer. Our village has no streetlights and is 12 miles away from the nearest small town so light pollution is very low. Although I know my digital camera really is no great shakes for a moon shot, I just had to have a go. I leant out of the bedroom window for this one - hubby hanging on to left foot just in case.....

As you can see, the angels outside were having a party - and everyone was invited.

Bizarrely enough, the next shot, taken only a couple of seconds later from the same place, resulted in - yes, the angels having left due to being caught unawares (or maybe I just didn't bring enough bottles.....).


For those more curious, the strange lines are telephone wires which the village elders and worthies are attempting to get buried underground.

I suppose it would improve my bedroom shots. (Can you say that in a blog?). Although hubby may get fed up of hanging on to my feet. (Now this really is getting bizarre....).

If there is anyone out there who a) has had the patience to read this, and b) has some kind of explanation, I'd really like to hear from you.


All comments and stories of angels gratefully received. Oh, and if you are that woman - I didn't doubt you for a second.

Honest.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

New York or North West Scotland?

From chaos to calm – The big apple & the big yin?

I left Yorkshire this spring for two very different holiday experiences…….

In an ambitious attempt to brighten up a soggy North Yorkshire spring, I arranged two trips, one to New York, with my mother, and the other to Wester Ross in Scotland with my partner. Different companions, circumstances and (as I was to discover), utterly contrasting holiday destinations.

Staying just south of Central Park in Manhattan on West 57th street, The Salisbury Hotel gave my mother and I a fantastic central location and the fact that we were there to celebrate her 80th birthday did not stop us from wearing down the shoe-leather. Easy access to Fifth Avenue meant lots of shopping and, in Trump Towers, lots of gawping and the use of their posh, marble and gold toilets (which, strangely, became my mothers favourite destination).

Our first meal was in the Brooklyn Diner where, due to a bit of jet lag, we generously over-tipped and were then treated like royalty. It may not be well known but if you want to experience the all-american diner at its best then it must be here. It also helps if your mother looks like the queen.

Mum handled the whole trip brilliantly - if not a little eccentrically. Only an octogenarian Yorkshire lass could come all the way to New York with the main intent to go shopping in search of the perfect knickers. I’m not sure that Macys - as the worlds largest department store - had ever dealt with the likes of this kind of tourist. As they didn’t come up with the required goods, it took a trip to downtown Orchard Street market, on the lower East side, to provide her with them. A small, tightly packed shop, reminiscent of “Open All Hours” with equally bizarre staff, produced an array of huge nylon lacy pants in lurid, traffic-light colours. Smitten, she bought a dozen pairs.

We covered a lot of ground. The Guggenheim museum was definitely worth the uphill walk to look at the exhibits, but the foyer of the Empire State building was an hours wait to go up, which didn’t appeal to our feet. The Staten Island ferry was both free and fabulous with great views of the Manhattan skyline, Ellis island and the Statue of Liberty. New York is a great place to get around for an older person as yellow cabs are readily available (once you’ve mastered the art of waving them down).

On a days escape from the matriarch (she is overly fond of mafia movies), I explored Central Park and the Museum of Modern Art. MOMA is not to be missed even if, like myself, you only have a basic knowledge of the classics such as Monet, Dali and Van Gogh. They’re all here, and then some.

The “Top of the Rock” experience on the Rockerfeller Centre included a film, shown under your feet, from the viewpoint of its construction workers, who balanced on girders to achieve this 1930’s masterpiece. Then, film images were projected on to the lift (sorry – elevator) ceiling as we travelled up all 65 floors in 45 seconds. I hate lifts but adore heights so the film came in useful, with the end result of a breathtaking view of the Empire State Building and all of Manhattan laid out before you.

Whilst I scaled the heights, my mother went in search of freebies in Tiffany’s and, once again, took advantage of her favourite washrooms in Trump Towers. Oh was there ever a venue so aptly named…

On arriving home we were enthralled, tired, dizzy, and in need of a rest. Two weeks later, I got one.

Gairloch in Wester Ross, one of the most beautiful parts of the Scottish Highlands, seemed the perfect antidote to city life. Looking out onto Ben Eighe in the Torridon hills, its easy to see why it was declared Britains first National Nature Reserve. With the quartzite-topped hills and views across to Skye, the scenery immediately invokes that feeling of awe, wonder and yet at the same time, calm. On good days from here the isles of the outer Hebrides can also be seen, as well as a vast array of local birdlife including ptarmigan, peregrines and eagles.

Gairloch is the name of a collection of small hamlets along the coast. We stayed in Strath at Newton House, a B&B with views of the bay from a large ensuite room, comfortable bed and great breakfasts with no hassle. The nearby Millcroft Hotel had recently been taken over and in the evenings we benefited from the friendly family owners who tested out their (very proficient) culinary skills on us. We walked Flowerdale glen to find two waterfalls and visited the tiny, but friendly and well laid-out, Gairloch Heritage Museum.

Everyone was genuinely welcoming in the town although a local café, dedicated to outdoor beefy-types, did seem to have a constant supply of staff with a sense of humour bypass. After many attempts to melt their cold shoulders, we decided it must have been written into their job descriptions.

Inverewe gardens, just a few miles away are full of beautiful and unusual flora from all over the world, able to grow in the warm gulf-stream climate. The road from Gairloch to Poolewe also presented dramatic vistas up Loch Maree. The Wester Ross Coastal Trail road route passes through some of the most spectacular scenery in Scotland.





On the far North West side of the peninsula in the wild wind and open atlantic setting sits the Rubha Reidh lighthouse. If you fancy a get-away-from-it-all-I don’t-care-how holiday, you can rent it. However, its not easy to get to and you’ll never find a yellow cab in these parts.


On the south side of the peninsula lies Red Point, a beautiful and spectacular stretch of coastline. With no access road and a two mile walk to get there, it seems virtually untouched. An old boat house, however, gave the gold-red sands some scale with a sense of wilderness and also abandonment. The beach to ourselves and the sun shining miraculously, we explored the rock-pools, shells and corals for hours.

Listening to the gulls cry and the waves lapping gently it was hard to think of leaving. We stood on the headland just up from the waters edge, looking down to the beach and across to the distant islands of Skye and the Hebrides, bathed in sunshine.

The question,from my partner, when it came, seemed inevitable. “So, New York or here?”


Sorry New York. No contest. My soul will always win.


New York:
Salisbury Hotel 123 West 57th Street
http://www.nycsalisbury.com/
Brooklyn Diner 212 West 57th Street
http://www.brooklyndiner.com/

Gairloch:
Ben Eighe National Nature Reserve
Located on A832 north of Kinlochewe
Newton House B&B, Mihol Road Tel: 01445 712007
Rua Reidh Lighthouse, B&B/Hostel Tel: 01445 771263